This May during Mental Health Month, it’s time to move beyond raising awareness. If you’re reading this, you’ve likely already experienced a loss and/or your own struggle related to mental health. I certainly have. We know mental health matters. We know it’s important to take care of ourselves. We know it’s important to reach out. We’ve all heard these messages by now.

However, it can be difficult to admit we need support in a society that values self reliance and productivity over community and care. We’re up against stigma that tells a story that struggling means we’re “weak” or “lazy.” 

How do we rewrite this narrative? 

Through participating in programs offered by Safe Communities like skill-based trainings where we practice phrases for connecting and seeking help, we can each play a small but important part of building a better world – one where people are seen, supported, and belong. 

I feel seen when someone says something validating like, “Hey, I know you’ve been struggling lately. It makes sense you’re so tired.” I feel cared for when asked about what kind of support I need. I feel encouraged when I hear about specific ways people get better. I’m not talking about toxic positivity or avoiding painful conversations. Sometimes things don’t get better in the ways we wish they would, and we need to be able to talk about the hard stuff. However, I don’t feel inspired to reach out when I see awareness messages with sad images, shocking statistics, and traumatic death stories. Research tells us that, while these tactics are emotionally activating, they can unintentionally cause harm by reinforcing hopelessness. 

Research also shows that people are now more skilled at naming risk factors and warning signs for suicide but cannot name ways to get through difficult times. It matters less that we know that having a mental illness is a risk factor for suicide. What matters more is that we feel comfortable asking someone how they’re doing.

What would happen if we:

• stopped trying to predict risk and instead explored what’s causing distress? 
• stopped pathologizing pain and instead tried to understand it through listening with curiosity? 
• asked people what they needed before they’re in crisis?
• named the people, places, and practices that get us through difficult times?

Sources of Strength

When I started asking these questions, I learned about upstream prevention programs that focus on increasing protective factors. One such program with the strongest evidence base for reducing suicide attempts is called Sources of Strength. As a local trainers with the program, a fellow staff member and I train and deliver curriculum in schools and youth-serving organizations in Dane County. Young people can become incredibly resilient through stressful situations if appropriately supported. In these training sessions, we teach that not all stress is bad; some stress is needed to motivate us to do important things. Stress is like the wind that trees need to deepen their roots to grow tall and withstand storms. We, too, can develop resilience like trees, and we can help one another grow stronger together.

Holding Space

Along with several dedicated colleagues from organizations across Wisconsin searching for an alternative to outdated models, I developed a training called “Holding Space for Conversations about Suicide” using the Alternatives to Suicide (Alt2Su) approach from the Wildflower Alliance. This training guides participants through exploring their own attitudes about suicide and practicing compassionate phrases to better support those struggling with thoughts of suicide.

I am also a facilitator for a Wisconsin-based Alt2Su peer support group. Alt2Su groups are for people with suicidal thoughts to talk about their experiences without labels, judgment, or the possibility of involuntary interventions (i.e., unwanted calls to crisis lines or police). A participant once described them as “the only place I can talk openly about these thoughts without someone freaking out.” In trainings and through these groups, people learn that pain witnessed is pain transformed. 

Slowing Down

The work to implement Sources of Strength teams in Madison and Dane County, to deliver the Holding Space training, to host an Alt2Su group where people keep coming back has taken time. Moving at a slower pace can feel counterintuitive when crises feel urgent, but we miss the chance to connect when we move too fast. These programs purposefully take time for people to learn, sometimes unlearn, and practice sitting in discomfort without rushing to fix or solve anything. 

Making Space for Grief

I slowed down in this work as I grieved the deaths of my best friend and roommate, Paul, who ended his life in September 2024, and Cinnamon, my former partner and friend, who died of alcohol related issues in April 2025. Paul and Cinnamon both lived with intense mental and physical pain due to issues impacted by their identities, lack of access to stable housing, affordable healthcare, and recovery support for their particular traumas. They often wanted to leave this world. While those who loved them tried our hardest to make them stay, a lot of their hurt went unseen. These beloveds challenged me (my thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes about mental health and suicide) as I navigated showing up for them personally and doing this type of social work professionally. I continue to question and challenge current models in their memories. What’s working? What isn’t? We’ve raised so much awareness, and yet so much pain remains.

People with mental health and addiction challenges know what works and what doesn’t for them. We need to trust them as the experts of their own lives. They have often tried many things, and our systems have repeatedly failed them. Sometimes they make choices to leave.

We are not going to heal all traumas and rebuild broken systems overnight, but we can commit to continued learning and doing some things differently. 

We can make space for grief. 

We can slow down. 

We can hold space for pain. 

We can be curious. 

We can share with one another how we’ve made it through difficult times. 

This May during Mental Health Month and always, we owe it to ourselves and to those we seek to support to be brave and move beyond raising awareness.

To learn more about what Safe Communities is doing in the space of suicide prevention and mental health or to request a training, contact suicideprevention@safecommunities.org.

Featured & Dig Deeper image credited to https://www.alyseruriani.com/